I have this fantasy that one day, after a year or two of not speaking, our paths will yet again intertwine. I imagine us sitting somewhere and reflecting on what we used to be. Why do I have this terrible feeling that something like that would never happen? Why do I have this horrible instinct that we'll never speak again? It pains me to think of such awful things but I can't help it. The day we parted ways, I made it clear I didn't want to be anything, not even friends. And while I don't know if I regret that yet, I do know that I ruined our chances of ever being even acquaintances again.
How strange it is to go from something to absolutely nothing. In a mere hour, we severed all the ties between us. I watched you walk away from me without looking back. I watched our affection turn to dust and fall through my fingertips. I knew it was for the best. I still know that now. But I still mourn. I mourn because you never gave me a chance. I mourn because you never let me try and chip away at the wall you built around yourself. Even when we embraced and kissed and touched, even when I was the closest I could physically get to you, the barrier still remained. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this. You always said you were curious about how I looked when I was sad; well here is your opportunity. Look upon this tangle of shattered illusions and inconsolable sorrow.
Photo taken by me.