Friday, June 1, 2012

Rust and Stardust

          You have been replaced with the fabricated hologram of a potential lover. You no longer bring the thrill to my life or fulfill my thirst for reciprocated affection. I have found someone much better, someone utterly oblivious to my lustful gaze and romantic prose. Someone I can fantasize about while lying in my desolate bed, someone I can impose personality traits on without their knowing. Someone I can claim as my own. He lives an ordinary life but is living, breathing, and walking in the corridors of my mind simultaneously. He becomes a greater person when I write or think about him, even though our verbal exchanges are limited - practically nonexistent - and our relationship is merely acquaintances. 
          But even all of this is not enough to distract me from my infinite melancholy. The melancholy that will never fade, regardless of how much happiness I experience in my mundane life. It is always there, sometimes more prominent and sometimes less obvious; but it is there, lurking, thriving, manifesting. To an outsider, it’s a morose idea to live in a constant state of sadness. However, I have come to terms with it and have even embraced it for it inspires artistic creation and has made me even more profound. No one will ever take away my melancholy for it has become so engrained in my person that it defines me. Not even you could shatter my hypnotic state; for although you brought me joy and blessed me with adventure, I was still sad and so that’s how it will remain. 

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